(theme music playing)
NARRATOR: Man lives in the sunlit world
of what he believes to be reality.
But... there is,
unseen by most, an underworld.
A place that is just as real
but not as brightly lit.
A dark side.
(with British accent): Well, where the hell is he?
WOMAN (on phone): I don't know where he is.
I've looked everywhere, asked everyone.
I just can't find him.
It just doesn't make sense.
It's not like Syd to pull something like this.
He can't just disappear off the face of the Earth.
I know it doesn't make any sense, but what can I say?
First the electrician, uh, what's his name, Domico.
Now Syd Grossinger.
I wonder who's going to disappear next.
If you mean me, don't hold your breath, okay.
(trips over ceramic item)
(kicks item)
I am sick and tired of falling over all
this junk that you're supposed to clean up.
Why don't you do some work around here?
(with German accent): I'm so sorry, ma'am.
I'm so sorry.
Damn well should be!
(eerie whooshing)
What... ?
What's going on around here?
Where is everybody?
OTTO (voice echoing): Well, how long do you plan
to stand there like that, huh?
Where is my order?
What the hell is going on around here?
(wind whistling)
ANDREA: Aren't you what's-her-name?
Well, what took you so long, you silly cow, huh?
Hey, I don't know what's with you, but...
I suggest you stop staring at us
as if you've never seen civilized people before
and do your job, ja?
(platter clanging)
Stupid, incompetent
clumsy, ungraceful goat!
Look at what you've done!
Oh, darling, are you all right?
I'm okay, I'm all right.
I'm fine.
SYD: I am so terribly sorry
for this unfortunate mishap, Herr Schrag.
Would you please explain to me, Herr Doktor,
how in the world you could hire
such incompetent and impertinent help, huh?
I am deeply apologetic
for such stupidity, Herr Schrag, deeply,
and I assure you it won't happen again...
ever.
(whispering): This poor man,
he was once a famous doctor of literature
till they found out he had no talent.
Oh, no, how terrible.
Ja.
OTTO: And so, he had to become a maitre d'.
Imagine that?
Well, how awful.
Ja.
OTTO: And now he will lose his job
as maitre d'.
You will see.
(Otto chuckles wickedly)
Oh, my God.
It's Syd!
Syd Grossinger.
Syd?
It's Andrea.
Andrea Caldwell.
ANDREA: It's Andrea Caldwell, for heaven's sake!
The director of your damn play.
Where have you been, Syd?
Everyone's been looking for you.
OTTO: We will take the shoelaces here, Doctor. Thank you.
DIDI: But Otto, I haven't used shoelaces in years.
Never mind, my dear.
We're not buying them to use.
We're buying them to help the poor doctor.
Isn't that so, Herr Grossinger?
Ah, quite so, quite so, Herr Schrag.
You're most generous, and I am deeply grateful.
Syd?
ANDREA: What in the world is the matter with you, Syd?
Nothing is the matter with him, I assure you.
And while we're at it, who in the hell are you?!
You will speak only when spoken to, ja?!
Is that clear?!
Hey, wait a mi...
Now, Herr Grossinger,
tell me something.
Why did you say I'd never amount to anything?
When?
When did he say such a terrible thing?
Shush, my dear.
This is between me and Herr Grossinger.
Well?
Well, I-I...
I didn't exactly say that.
What I said was...
But you said I'd never amount to anything, didn't you?
Well... He didn't!
You were certainly mistaken on that count.
It was a stupid thing to say, wasn't it?
It certainly was, Herr Schrag.
It certainly was the rashest,
most profound mistake I made in my entire life.
How could you say such a thing about Otto?
Otto is a genius.
An absolute genius.
If he's such a damn genius,
then why can't he come up with better lines?
We've been through this stupid scene a million times already.
Aren't you getting tired of it?
Can I go now, Herr Schrag?
(wind gusting)
(eerie whooshing)
I'm warning you, Syd,
if this is your idea of a practical joke
I swear I'm gonna strangle you with my bare hands!
I swear to you, Andrea.
Then what are we waiting for?
There's a play waiting to be staged.
I know that, Andrea.
I wrote the play, remember?
Yes, I remember.
What I don't remember are those awful new scenes.
You must've sneaked those in when nobody was looking.
Give me some credit, Andrea.
Now, does that sound like something I've written?
Do you remember me ever,
ever writing such lousy dialogue?
No.
As a matter of fact, I don't.
So, what is this, Syd?
Are we prisoners in somebody else's lousy play?
No.
I think we're prisoners in somebody else's fantasy.
Fantasy?
What do you mean fantasy?
Don't you know who Otto Schrag is?
No.
Why should I?
The slob with the broom!
Oh, the nerve of that little twerp.
And I don't even own a miniskirt.
Boy, is it a pity.
I never knew you had such great legs.
Thanks, pal.
That's all I need right now.
(chuckling): Sorry.
You know, what I can't figure out is:
Of all the places in the world,
why would Otto's fantasy lock us into our own set?
I don't know.
Maybe it reminds him of his childhood in Europe,
or maybe it's the place where he suffered
his greatest humiliation,
so now it's the scene of his great triumph.
People do all kinds of things in their fantasies.
How long have you been here, Syd?
I don't know exactly.
Seems like forever.
Do you think we'll ever get out of here?
(wind whistling)
(eerie whooshing)
(thunder crashing)
SYD: Oh, God, not again.
Que bella, bellisima.
Cut it out! Let go of me!
Who the hell are you anyway?!
ANDREA: Syd! Syd, help me!
You animal, let her go.
Oh, great.
I said let her go.
Who asked you to butt in, bud?
Oh, brother, why don't you both give it up.
Don't you worry, my dear.
I will take care of this sex fiend.
Oh, my, my, you really scare me to death.
Oh, terrific.
(groans)
ANDREA: Well, that's the phoniest fight I've ever seen.
I've seen better stuff
at Saturday night wrestling.
(sighs)
Hey, don't worry about it, lady.
They'll heal in about ten minutes flat.
Of course.
You look a little shaken, miss.
The name's Caldwell,
and it's ms.
Why don't you come and have some coffee with me.
You've got to be kidding.
I'm not going anywhere with you.
We'll see about that.
(eerie whooshing)
Knock it off, Didi.
Oh, cut it out, Didi.
Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
Taking part in such a primitive display of injured male egos
at their absolute worst?
Huh?
How could you fall for such a phony plot?
Two men fighting over a woman,
then two women fighting over a man.
It's enough to make you want to puke.
Well, at least before you came along,
they used to fight over me.
Big deal.
You mean this has happened to you before?
Oh, sure.
Every day.
It's Otto's favorite part.
Anyway, it's not my fault.
He makes me do it.
OTTO: We're going now.
Come along.
You mean you're a prisoner here, too?
I sure am, wherever here is.
You think I'd be with a creep like this
if I had anything to do with it?
Well, you could have fooled me.
Come along, Didi.
Why don't you just drop it.
She's staying right here.
Syd!
(wind whistling)
(eerie whooshing)
So you're the missing electrician
that everyone's been looking for?
Sure am.
Joe Domico, that's me.
Oh, boy.
But why you?
Well, that's a long story.
Anyway, I used to work on one of those big,
ocean-going ships, you know?
Boy, that was really the life.
I bet it was romantic.
It sure was, honey.
Anyway, I told Otto about it,
and he kept bugging me to get him a job
on one of those ships.
Otto?! Otto?!
Yep.
I guess he wanted to show the world
that he could hold a real man's job.
I'd sure like to see that little twerp
on one of those ships.
JOE: Yeah, he wouldn't last
on the ocean for two minutes.
And I told him so, too.
So, now he's proving to all of us
how macho he really is.
Well, so what are we going to do?
I mean, I don't even know where we are.
You know, when I first found myself here,
I thought I had had a relapse.
SYD: Andrea and I
think we're stuck in Otto's fantasy.
Yeah, I mean, that makes sense.
But how the hell did he do it?
I don't know.
But I do know that Otto's been losing control
ever since Andrea got here.
I think four of us is too much for him to handle all at once.
Hey, hey, now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
This isn't a fantasy.
It's a dream.
Well, come on, it all fits.
The reality switches,
the feeling that we're walking through molasses,
the longer and longer pauses between scenes.
Well, everybody dreams like that, don't they?
Yeah.
But you mean we're dreaming all this?
ANDREA: No...
no, we're not dreaming it-- Otto is.
We are just characters in Otto Schrag's dreams.
But how do we get out of this?
I think I figured something out.
Otto's obviously not dreaming all the time.
I mean, there's got to be periods
when he's just sleeping, and his control is off,
like right now.
Yeah, that could do it.
SYD: So if we can
catch him sleeping, and shake him awake...
we might be able to set ourselves free.
ANDREA: Yes.
And maybe then we can fall asleep
and dream about him for a change
and beat him at his own game.
(thunder crashing)
(wind whistling)
(eerie whooshing)
ANDREA: Dreams within dreams within dreams.
(voice echoing): Dreams, dreams, dreams, dreams, dreams, dreams, dreams,
dreams, dreams, dreams, dreams, dreams, dreams, dreams...
Wake up, you little creep.
Wake up!
God, I need some sleeping pills.
Sleeping pills.
(breathing deeply)
(snoring)
(eerie whooshing)
(wind whistling)
OTTO: Excuse me, madame.
I'm so sorry to disturb you, madame,
but Captain Domico requests the pleasure of your company
on the bridge.
(seagulls calling)
(wind whistling)
NARRATOR: The dark side is always there.
Waiting for us to enter.
Waiting to enter us.
Until next time,
try to enjoy the daylight.